You see, have you ever wondered why people stay in bad situations? Abusive and manipulative relationships? Awful situations kabisa….ever wondered kwani they are not seeing how bad this is for themselves? Kwani they don’t treasure themselves? Why don’t they just walk out?
Well folks, there comes a time when the fear of the unknown overcomes one’s courage. You know you deserve better, you know you can get better, you know you’re a treasure. Hell, everyone around you even reaffirms you of this, but still, u stay. Still, you surrender as a burnt sacrifice to hurt. You cling on to the danger like it’s the last straw. It’s the fear of the unknown. It’s the fear of being alone. It’s the fear of treading the untreaded paths.
Humans are creatures of habit. We will always want what’s familiar, we will cling onto the comfort of the known, what we are used to. That’s why you will make up excuses for his cheating ass, that’s why you will defend him for making your soft lean body a punching bag, that is why you will stick around even when he dejects you time and again. “It’s not your fault”….No, it is your fault. You see the same way your love for the familiar has got you strung onto him, that’s the same way the familiarity you created of his uncouthness has sunk in his mind, hard for him to unlearn.
Sorry sis, but yeas, you are partly to blame. I know, blame the victim psychology applies but hey, you are to blame. The moment he stood you up cause he had some ‘urgent business’ to attend, the moment you let him know that its ok for you to be stood up…the moment you made it alright for him to raise his voice at you, that moment you let the insults slither by…the instance you forgave the first infidelity experience…let the first slap land on your puffy cheeks without question, at that moment, that was when you normalized your being ill-treated. That was the moment you made him comfortable with treating you as he pleased. That was the moment you became to blame for what was to follow.
I know most of us go like, but it started as a one-time thing. Well, sure thing, hell, how does everything else ever start…some started drinking as a onetime thing, weed puffing as a one puff thing, raving as a one-time partying. All these habits later become part of their lives. Guys, lets not normalize uncouth deeds. We all know how we want to be treated. Yeas, deeeeeep down, we all know what we want to be treated as…some want to be treated as ‘bad bitches’ others ‘slay queens’ others ‘boss ladies’ others ‘queens’. We all have our definitions of how being treated well is and should feel like. Let’s stick to that. Trust me, if not being left on blue ticks is on your being well-treated list, and if you let them know that, for as long as the interest in you remains genuine, they will fucking respond to each of your texts, they’ll even google how to respond to your ‘lol’ and ‘k’ texts. Don’t compromise your worth for shit that’s not worth it.
But what of those who are already too deep in the mushy grounds? What do I do? Have forgiven a lying nigga over and over again…have let punches, kicks and slaps slam on me like it’s nothing, have already normalized being despised and mistreated? Sis, it’s never too late, and you know something else, the only w ay out of a situation is through. LEAVE! Trust me, the fall isn’t that far down. You’re clutching on to that rotten piece of wood cause you scared of falling for a few meters to the ground??? Let go, it’s not worth it anymore. I won’t lie to you that it will be easy. No, it won’t. Its gonna hurt so bad; cause you know, love and shit but it’s worth it. For your sake, it’s worth every single ounce of pain it will cause. And after that, you’ll look back and be amused by how blinded you were by the fear of the unknown plus everything you want is on the other side of fear.