Guys, I just don’t get it. See, Nyashinski sung that “Post ya haga huenda poa sana na Caption ya scripture” and you know I just noticed how right he was. A lady will post a beautifulllll photo of her maybe in a bikini or in some well-fitting dress, then, guess what she’ll have as the caption?
Some T.D Jakes or Joel Osteen or some Joyce Meyer quote apo. Worse even, some will take it to the philosophical scope and get all Nietzsche or Rawls on the caption. Not that I have anything against this. Hell, I myself have fallen prey to this more times than I can even count; just check my IG feed and see. But tbh, my sisters, when we post a beautiful gorgeouuss jaw dropping hot pic with all our curves popping and with the booty on fire, why would we go ahead and put a caption like “love life”???!! Lets be real, no one is thinking of loving life ‘Susan’; we are all just appreciating your curves in both positive and of course negative ways; you know wale watu wa “sasa huyu!! Hawezi tulia kila saa ni kutupostia tu” hawawezi kosa.
But for real though, why wouldn’t ladies appreciate their bodies?
You know why?
Because the moment one does that, that’s when the tagging begins. In addition to this, we live in societies where women are overly sexualized and their bodies massively objectified.
That is why statements such as ohhh!! Ebu wear a skirt that’s beneath the knee level are so common.
That’s why before you leave your house you have to ensure your cleavage is not too deep.
That’s why when you sit or walk, you have to keep on adjusting the length of your dress.
Have you ever seen a man have to adjust his pants?
(ohhh, other than when their twins have decided to start a match down there and have moved all over the place, and that’s when they’ll shameless part their legs and do that thing; that weird movement where they lift their upper bodies slightly and stretch their lower one….) anyway, y’all get what am talking about.
I remember last winter break when I had gone back home. I was wearing this beautiful floral skirt which was just slightly beneath my knees. Then I went to town. In the middle of the hustle & bustle of running my errands, as I was getting on a matatu back home, I just felt someone grab on the edge of my skirt and make as if to pull it down. Mark you, this was at 4 fucking pm during the day. The sun was high up in the sky. And people were all around me. Thanks to my fast impluses and reaction time, I managed to use my #infibox as a weapon and hit his hand off as hard as I could. This is not even the highlight of the story.
When I shared with one of my aunts what had occurred; do you know what she told me?
She just went like “Hihihi….well, next time utajua uvae dress ka za wakorino ukienda tao ama trousers” and that was it. And in my head I was so confused. I could not comprehend just how she could easily normalize such an occurrence.
Looking at it now, I understand.
Its our socialization. In our shaping of the society, women are supposed to underplay their visibility. Cover up their bodies; talk in softer voices; walk in a raised gait etc. they are taught to manifest vulnerability; as this is what is thought to be attractive to men. Its even in the word for women among the Kikuyus “Mutumia” which is a derivative of the word “tumia”. “tumia” translates to “shut up” or keep it on the low. So a “mutumia” is someone who keeps it on the low; someone who shuts up, someone who doesn’t speak up. That would explain why ladies will keep their femininity on the low. Why they will not give their gorgeous bodies a shout out on their captions.
I know just how cocky that sounds; but look at it on another light.
Its not being cocky. Its learning to appreciate and embrace your femininity.
If you’ve got The Ass for days, go ahead girl; big up yourself. What’s the sense in putting a “Life is beautiful” nonsense there and only wait for the men to go down in the comment section and use all sorts of derogatory words in the name of flirting to comment on your booty??
Do it your own damn self!!
Appreciate every single inch of your skin!
From your hair, down to your beautiful neck, go to the magnificent chest, then over to the wonderful hips, lower to the perfect legs and over to the manicured or unmanicured toes.
Love yourself…and not just that loving yourself that comes along with the a trillion and one postings of #lovingme #selflove blah blah…nah. Not just that kind of loving.
Do the kind of loving that entails enjoying and creating your #me time. The one that involves taking yourself out…the one that entails feeding your soul…feeding your brain…building yourself.