Lets talk about money. I love money ; yeas, i do…I love money and all the goodies it has to offer. And some may call me materialistic just by virtue of this testament but if loving to have my own economic and financial independence ismaterialistic, then so be it. If wanting not to be in lack is materialistic, so be it. If wanting to be in a position to buy a Rolls Royce and being able to goto the Maldives on my own account is materialistic; then voila, may it be so.
But one thing those pricks who are quick to judge don’t get is; Money is power, Money gives one options, Money is liberating. Being a woman, you need to have your own money to have your voice. Look, you may not be in agreement up to this point, but let me try as best as I can to make you see my point.
The moment a woman is not financially independent is the moment she will let anything pass. Take for instance, abusive relationships…be it emotional or physical abuse. One of the major reasons women may choose to stay in such a relationship is they don’t have the financial muscle to pack up and leave; so they chose to ‘vumilia’ furthermore isn’t that what we are taught that ‘mwanamke ni kuvumilia’?? But in cases where that woman has her own money, where she doesn’t have to ask baba watoto for pesa ya chumvi ama kiberiti, where she doesn’t have to ask him for pesa ya mboga, in such cases, the woman has a voice. She can pack up and leave that abusive situation.
You see, families are negotiating platforms; bargains are made on a daily basis especially in marriages. Now, if one of the partners in that arrangement is weaker, their bargaining power decreases and the stakes they hold in the partnership reduces. That is why a wife will be ordered left right and centre by the husband. That is why whatever the husband proclaims will become law, regardless of its credibility.
And this power dynamic doesn’t just exist in marriages or permanent arrangements. No! it exists even in day to day relations. Take for instance the ‘sponyo’ relationships. In such an arrangement, the lady has literally no say at all; I mean she is literally being paid to have no say. And that is why I have such a hard time with these situations because ladies, what we don’t understand is, you might just be enjoying the sjui 5k this bald man gives you per week and brag your ass away of how your sponsor ni mpoa; but honey, 5k is such a little amount, that is a low maintenance fee. How many other low maintenance lasses do you think this rich kitambi man is maintaining?? Na, the fact that anakupee 5K only takes away the most invaluable thing in the word; your voice and your bargaining power. Now, you may argue that no, I still have a say; but look, whenever he calls you are expected to respond, and laugh and do those stupid girlish giggles to his nowhere close to funny jokes; why would anyone put themselves through this for pennies???
That is why I say money is power; that is why I add for ladies, it is a necessity to have YOUR own money. Work hard for your money boo, hustle, get your money in ways that don’t trade off your power, hustle in ways that in the evening, when you look at that 200 ksh that you earned in a dignified way you are still able to look yourself in the mirror and not be disgusted by yourself. You feel me?? It is doable; and the fact that kina Sidika lie to us of how oh, you can still live a lavish life on a man’s cheque; no…always ask yourself, what am I trading off for this cheque? Is it worth it? Cz guys, there’s nooothiing like a free lunch or dinner or whatever it is utapewa; in the end, one has to pay; and pay dearly for it.
Madem, we have the potential, we are smart, we are strong, we can earn our own money proudly, we can get our own financial muscle. And once you get your financial muscle, stretch it!! Raise your bar; if someone will be wanting to join you, show them what you are bringing to the table and ask them what they are bringing to the table; don’t leech on no man, and don’t let no man leech on you!